“I am what I wanted and I want what I am.” ― Meister Eckhart

When a guy lights a smoke, it's HIS decision, it's HIS WILL so there's no conflict here, right?
But when he has a wife who is a non-smoker and they have 2 kids and she can't find work (so kind of can't leave him, she's stuck with him for good) and hates cigarettes, then what happens? It often means a conflict, thought says "Why do I have to breathe a toxic cancerous smoke because he is a (expletive) moron?", something like that. The smoke cannot be avoided, yet the conflict is still be there. IF she cannot change the situation, this conflict is pretty absurd, no? Is it helpful or is just wastage of energy? It can be said it is hating that what already is, right? But hating that what is is pretty insane if you look at this, no? Trying to force things that cannot be forced, because they already are here and nothing can be "done".

Another example would be working in a supermarket or some other job and hating it, losing a job, losing a wife (died or left, "SHE'S GONE", as J. Krishnamurti said to someone), what my partner does or doesn't, somebody is talking incessantly, there is a radio playing, music, losing a kid, falling ill, losing money, hating bugs, mosquitoes, flies buzzing, noise of loud motorcycles, politics, war, (I don't mean going to war when you're drafted, that is stupid too, but having an ideal that something "should not be" or "should be") etc. etc. We regularly hate lots of things that we cannot change at all! Isn't it interesting?

1) hating of "THAT WHAT IS" happens, it's an imaginary but energy wasting ("suffering") conflict in the unitary movement of energy-matter. It is the imagined "my will" (the ego, me, I, my preferences, my choices, etc. which is a product of thought and the horizontal conflict (subject-object).

2) THAT what is, the unitary movement is already here, it cannot be argued about, fought or changed, transformed, etc.

The only transformation that can happen is to understand the FUTILITY of the limited movement (1), my will, I, me.. etc.

What follows I think is that all positive action, like "Let's oppose war", (political) activism, create and organization, write articles, etc is a phony limited movement, bc there is still the same conflict in it (the horizontal conflict), "my will", I, me, the ego. The struggle, the opposition means that the conflict hasn't resolved itself. In other words, the limited movement only increases the conflict while pretending it's trying to solve it..

Peace is not the opposite of war , the force that opposes war. Peace is not a positive direction, a force. Peace is a negation of the whole limited illusory false movement of "I", me, the self, the product of thought that is the horizontal conflict (subject-object), because the movement has been understood "from the ground up" (not only intellectually as a conclusion of a second-hand knowledge, repeating someone else's conclusion in a book).

Thought plays very strange games with itself! "I want to be like Paul Newman in that movie I watched" or "I want to be like the great investor who was just interviewed.." But you're not! Are you? :) The fact is that you're a lousy investor and you're definitely don't look Paul Newman! :) Why can't the brain completely reflect the reality as it is? Why can't That What Is just be as It is (because It always is and will be ANYWAY)?

 What I would say depression is is the brain invents an image of "what should be" (in the "future") - which is "the self". For example "I will be a successful entrepreneur with an attractive partner and 2 or 3 kids, will have a house in a warm green area", or something like that and at some point life says, no you can't have those, that image you've built is false, bro.. One falls ill or the wife leaves or a kid dies and all the startup companies go bankrupt. So that precious image of "what should be" that the brain has built does not reflect reality, there is a conflict in the brain between those two, and the structure of "what should be" in the brain means a strong attachment/ it was a source of pleasure for thought. But the image HAS to correlate with Reality (otherwise one goes completely insane), so the Thymic and Autonomic aspects of the META get activated, intense sorrow, anger, loss, apathy, loss of energy.. That may be what is diagnosed as "depression". But perhaps it does not necessarily needs to be escaped from, "cured" or medicated right away. Perhaps one should instead observe the whole movement of thought that is actually happening, without any choice, control, effort or opposition. Perhaps there simply should be an observation that completely correlates with Reality, reflects Reality. The old structure of the self has to dissolve and that alone would naturally and inevitably bring peace and order.

The modern therapies of depression may often completely miss the point. They offer various escapes and fast medication without understanding what the central issue seems to be.
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When thought gets dissatisfied in the pursuits of the "material world", it often starts to chase so called "spiritual" goals, like finding "God" or "nirvana" or something along these lines. This seems to be a completely different direction than the previous one but in fact it is the same movement of the self as before only seeking different kind of experiences, pleasures and sensations, and ultimately different kind of illusions.

If people understood that the horizontal conflict (the split into the subject- object) produced by thought is an illusion, and the "I" is useless the "psychological" sphere, it would mean a radical change.

Thought is perfect for calculating something, creating a new algorithm or navigating the streets of London. Or in the magnificent world of technology, to build a bridge, it is functional there.
But in the psychological sphere, the I cannot evolve, grow, transform or change, because it simply does not exist per se, it's a product of thought, which is always old and limited. The whole imaginary problem disentangles if this is completely understood.

It's not enough to understand it intellectually, as as an intellectual conclusion. It has to be a direct understanding, an insight into the whole issue of how thought operates (including the horizontal conflict). There must be a complete understanding of the operation of the META Process of thought.
When this happens, the problem disentangles by itself because thought sees its limitation and realizes that it's completely useless in the psychological realm. Thought cannot voluntarily negate itself, but it can negate itself by seeing its own inherent limitation and falseness.

 Alan Watts: The deepest you is the Nothing side, Don't be afraid of Nothing.

Nothing is More Powerful Than Something. The shock is realizing what moves everything is what can’t be grasped or named.

“Nothing” isn’t empty — it’s the space where everything becomes possible.

This quote captures Alan Watts’ core teaching that the ultimate reality (the Tao 

or "void") is not a "thing" to be grasped, but the unnameable, creative space of 

absolute freedom. He argues that "nothingness" is not empty void but the 

necessary background that makes all existence possible.

J.Krishnamurti: The most important thing is to be absolutely nothing.

There is absolute security in Nothingness, Emptiness. That is the highest Yoga/Dhjana/UP/Zazen/Nirvana, etc.

 If there is only a unitary movement/The Universe, then what can be tried/attempted (effort, direction, knowledge, definition, purpose etc) and who makes the attempt?

If your answer is: "What is attempted is the unitary movement". Then my question would be: Then the unitary movement which is everything that IS has to TRY/ATTEMPT to be Itself? 

Doesn't it sound rather strange?

 Sermon 86

Beautiful Sermon. The extraordinary giant M.Eckhart makes up his story as usual :) using the Biblical story of Mary Magdalene at the tomb. He makes it a story of a psychological transformation (because maybe all what he was really writing was about THAT! - I don't know bc I've read rather little of his work). Notice the change of the capital letters, him (Jesus the man) and Him (God the Universe, one unitary movement, etc.

So what is the story that M.Eckhart conceived about? Mary Magdalene loved Jesus so much that when he died, she died psychologically with him too. That means she became totally empty. That was when the God/ Universe/ joyous extraordinary Energy or whatever you want to call It was revealed/restored in her. The Gardener was the Truth, the unitary movement of matter-energy transformation. Beautiful and true explanation of the psychological transformation using the old catholic imagery and terms (also worth noticing is a great translation).

The last part is immensely important to understand:
For the soul to find God she needs six things: First, what was sweet to her before must become bitter to her. Second, that the soul becomes too cramped for herself, so that she cannot remain within herself.8 Third, she must desire nothing but God. Fourth, that none can comfort her but God. Fifth, that she never returns to transient things. Sixth, that she has no inner peace till He is restored to her.


SERMON EIGHTY-SIX
(Q 56, Par. an. 26, Evans II, 32)1
"Mary stood at the sepulcher weeping" (John 20 : 1 1 ). It was a wonder that in such sore distress she could weep at all. 'Love was the reason of her standing, sorrow of her weeping.' She stepped forward and looked into the tomb. She sought a dead man, and found two living angels. Origen says, 'she stood.' Why did she stay when the apostles had fled? She had nothing to lose: all she had she had lost with him. When he died she died with him. When they buried him they buried her soul with him. Therefore she had nothing to lose.
She went on. Then he met her. "She thought he was the gardener,
and said, 'Where have you laid him?' " (John 20 :15). She was so
anxious about him that she only took in one word that he said.
"Where have you laid him? " that was what she said to him. Then he
revealed himself gradually to her. If he had revealed himself all at
once, while she was in the throes of longing, she would have died of joy. If the soul knew when God was coming into her, she would die of joy; and if she knew when He was leaving her, she would die of grief. She does not know when He comes or when He goes, though she can sense when He is with her. A master says His coming and His going are hidden. His presence is not concealed, for He is a light, and light is by nature revelation.
Mary sought God and God alone: that is why she found Him, and
she desired nothing but God. To the soul that seeks God, all creatures must be a pain. It was a pain for her to see the angels. Thus for the soul in quest of God, all things must be as nothing. For the soul to find God she needs six things: First, what was sweet to her before must become bitter to her. Second, that the soul becomes too cramped
for herself, so that she cannot remain within herself.8 Third, she must desire nothing but God. Fourth, that none can comfort her but God. Fifth, that she never returns to transient things. Sixth, that she has no inner peace till He is restored to her.
Let us pray, etc.

 Meister Eckhart - Unresigned People, Who are Full of Own-Will

Quitting Thyself 

‘Alas, Sir,’ people say, ‘I wish I stood as well with God, had as much devotion, were as much at peace with God as other people are. If only I could be like this, or as poor as that,’ or, ‘ It is not a bit of good unless I can be here or there or do so and so. I must live away from home, in a convent or a cell.’ - Believe me, the fault is in thyself and nowhere else. It is nothing but own will. Thou mayst not know it and it may not seem so to thee, but the only source of restlessness in thee is thy personal will, whether this is realized or not. We think we ought to flee this thing or follow that—places, people, methods, purposes, or acts—but ways and things are not to blame for hindering thee, it is thou thyself in things that is standing in thy way, cleaving to things as thou dost inordinately. Starting with thyself then, rise up and quit thyself. An thou flee not first thyself it is certain that wherever else thou mayest flee thou wilt find thou art disturbed and hindered, be it where it may. For people to seek peace in outward things—in places, persons, ways or works, in poverty or exile or despisery or anything else however important it may be - is all in vain, it will not bring peace. Those who seek in this way are looking in the wrong direction: the further out they go the less are they likely to find what they are seeking. They go like one who has missed his way: the further he walks the wider he strays. But what ought he to do? He must leave himself first; he will then have left all things. A man may give up a kingdom or the whole world but if he still clings to himself he has given up nothing.