For a person to help himself the absolute necessity is she must understand the only true help is to help oneself. There is no one to save me. No amount of reassurance is going to bring confidence in anyone. If I understand that no one can help me if I don't help myself, I will not look outside for help. One has to experiment oneself and know for oneself. That means not being a second-hand human being, not depending on something or someone else.