An old man said, 'I'd like to die , death would finish the struggle. I've been struggling so much. Over a job, in my family, to buy a house, fix the car, there has always been problems, anxieties, health scares. And when I had a free moment I felt lonely and went to a pub with friends to drink or watched stupid TV shows or listened to music for hours on end. I haven't been able to just sit and enjoy living, not being occupied by this or that, working on improvement of my life.. I have never really lived, I have always been becoming, working for the future in which I would be happy. But it never materialized. I have never been able to find peace myself. And now I'm tired. I'm counting on death to bring peace.'
Being second-hand beings we count on others to fix our lives, to free us. God, the state, the politicians, the saviors to save us. I lack confidence so I turn to an external force to change my life. Thereby I only make a bigger mess out of my life. Pretending is easier than facing the dirty bathroom and cleaning it oneself. That's what most of us do.
One who hasn't died before death cannot be truly in peace.